The Save A Life Club
by Sarigo
Summary: Sasuke, SuiKa; In the terrible state of Ohio, new student Sasuke Uchiha must deal with a cult-like high school group who believes in saving lives, and end up ruining them. Rated T for slight violence, language, and some sexual innuendo.
1. The New Kid Is Emo!

**A/N: I have a bed, but no bedframe. It's basically mattress stacked up on mattress. It's tall, too. I have to jump to get on it. **

**Being short sucks.**

**_Reviews Appreciated_**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

"We discussed last week that we were all going to bring something beneficial for the Save-A-Life Club."

The meeting had just settled down to a point in which the hostess could talk. All eyes were on her. She smiled, and picked up a small, purple box. Purple was the color for the club. She sat the box down on a stool.

The founder and hostess of the Save-A-Life Club loved bright colors, because they were happy. Every day, she'd be wearing some bright, slightly ridiculous attire, and different shoes for each outfit. Today, her skirt was pink, matching her hair. It was contracting with her green shirt, and the only way her outfit actually matched was through her pink and green striped flats. Her skin was pale, but not albino. And her teeth, which she proudly flashed whenever she smiled, were white. Too white.

"Before we get to that," she stated, "I have great news. Our bake sales, which we finished last weekend, raised eight-hundred dollars. We'll be sending this off to Teen-Suicide Fighting Organizations nearby."

"Awesome!" shouted a blonde in the front of the room. He was smiling. "Good job, guys!"

The blonde, Naruto Uzumaki, was the most enthusiastic member. He worse a wooden cross necklace ever day, and often dressed in a country fashion. He was from the south - Louisiana, which is actually the north of the south, but whatever - and he was very proud of this.

"Now then, on to business! I don't believe we have any new members, but just in case - I'm Sakura Haruno. Last week, we all agreed to bring something useful. I'll start us off, and then pass the stage on to Ino's group."

She opened her purple box, and pulled out several papers. She handed them out.

"These are pie charts. I've made them to demonstrate causes of teen suicide. If you know anyone who suffers from this, become friends with them. You could be helping them out just by saying 'hello'. Every word counts, everyone."

The club members clapped for her. Ino stood up, and approached the front. Sakura moved to the side.

"I like your haircut, Ino!" complimented Sakura. Ino thanked her, and faced forward.

Ino usually had long, white-blonde hair. Today, it was short and layered, with the bangs pulled back in a hair clip. Other than her hair, she had bright blue eyes, and looked innocent. Whether she actually was or not was questionable.

"Similar to Sakura," she began. "I brought a chart. Mine's more of a list, though. It lists looks, actions, and attitude, to show you who's showing signs, without even having to talk to them. Dyed black hair, for instance. Any color but black. If it's blakc, then they've got a fifty-percent chance of being depressed. Skinny jeans. If a girl wears them, it's okay. Boys that wear these are depressed. Bangs in face. Looking down while they walk. Overly tight or baggy shirts from Hot Topic: depressed. Also, unnatural, horror-movie looking makeup is common amongst the depressed teenagers of America. Especially if it's on men."

Sakura listened closely, and then turned towards the clubs.

"So, if you see someone showing these signs, talk to them."

Little did they know that, as they spoke, Sasuke Uchiha was moving into town.

.

.

Wednesday was a terrible day. Not that anything actually happened on Wednesday, but it was just a particularly dreadful day.

Sasuke hated Wednesdays, so it was a pretty bad day to be starting up at a new school.

"I hate Wednesdays," he muttered to himself as he skimmed through his wardrobe. He grabbed his favorite pair of skinny jeans, a checkered shirt, and fake glasses that he didn't actually need, but he really just liked to wear. He walked downstairs, nearly tripping over boxes.

"Hey there," his brother said to him. Since they'd left the orphanage, Itachi had been keeping him with him in his house in California. Just so happens that Cali was becoming a rather expensive and dull place, so they left for Ohio. And Sasuke hated it already.

Sasuke said nothing in reply and made a piece of toast.

When the toast popped out of the toaster, Itachi stole it.

"Hey! I was about to eat that, you - you...what are you doing?"

Itachi handed the toast back. It had a smiley face pressed into it.

"Wow."

"I wanted to test out the toast stamps. They work!"

"Great. I'm leaving now."

"Okay! Do you want a ride?"

"Not particularly."

"Good, I wouldn't have given you one anyways! Haha!"

Itachi was in a rather scary mood. It was out of character. Must've been drunk. _Not that he really drank._

As he walked to the school and opened the doors, he let out a loud sigh, to show off how unhappy he was to be there.

He entered the front office. The principal, Might Guy (according to the rather large nametag) welcomed him loudly. He handed him a schedule, and told him he could take his time finding his classes, just so long as he didn't miss an entire period or anything.

"Don't they usually give you a guide or something?" the girl behind Sasuke asked. He turned around.

"No way! Konoha High School is against the students not learning for themselves!" shouted Mr. Guy.

Sasuke shook his head - which the girl noticed was a very, sexy head - and walked out. She followed him.

"Um, so you're new here? Would you like a guide?"

"Is the school really that big?" he asked, looking around. "It doesn't look like it."

She took it as a yes.

"I'm Karin. People call me...well, they call me Karin. And you?"

"Sasuke Uchiha."

She walked with him in silence for a while.

"So, I noticed you wear glasses."

He looked at her.

"I wear glasses, too."

"Really?" he asked, not hinting at sarcasm at all. "I didn't notice!"

There was literally _no detectable sarcasm _in his voice, so she felt flustered.

"That's probably because you haven't looked at me or anyone else. You just keep looking forward."

He sighed.

"Okay, I've found all my classes now. You can leave."

"But we've only been to one -"

"That's fine."

"Okay," she groaned. Then she quickly straightened up. "I need to give you some advice, newbie."

"What's that?"

"Stay away from the Save-A-Life Club."

"The what?"

She then left. Her hair hit him on the way off.

.

.

"Yeah, I see him. I don't get it, though. What makes you think he's suicidal?"

Naruto and Sakura were hiding behind the corner, watching Sasuke at his locker.

"Didn't you hear Ino? Dyed black hair. Skinny jeans. Overly baggy T-shirts from Hot Topic?"

"Well, those are three of them. He isn't wearing makeup, though."

She looked at Sasuke, a bit harder this time.

"No, that's a false statement - he's wearing concealer."

"Why would you say that?"

"He's acne-free. We're in _high school. _That's impossible for a boy."

Naruto gasped.

"You're right!"

"So what do you think we should do?"

"Well, we could talk to him?"

Sakura sucked in her stomach, and approached him, without thinking anything over. Naruto gulped. He sure was tall compared to Sakura.

"H-hello."

Sasuke turned, and looked down.

"Hi."

"My name is Sakura."

"You people sure are social, aren't you?"

He looked around. Everyone seemed to be staring at him. Why?

"Well, I couldn't help but notice - you have a strange wardrobe."

He looked at her. Yellow shoes. Yellow shirt. Bright, disgustingly orange skirt.

"So do you."

She laughed.

"Um, so have you ever heard of the Save-A-Life Club?"

"I've heard of it. Barely. Actually, forget I said that, because I know next to nothing about it."

She grinned.

"Well, you see, we've noticed that there's a very high amount of teen suicide in America. We figure that, if we all work together, we can get rid of this."

"Okay?"

"And, so, we go around, talking to people who look like they need friends."

"Uh-huh."

He looked around, and realized that he must have looked like he had no friends. Well, he didn't yet, actually. Then, he got where this was going.

"So, you think I'm suicidal."

"Correction: I know you are."

"And how would you know this?"

"You show all the signs."

"You've never seen me before."

"I didn't have to, with this!"

She held up the sheets of paper Ino and her had made. Sasuke read them over.

"This is wrong. This is incredibly stereotypical."

"When it comes to saving a life, you have to throw those things aside."

"But I'm _not _suicidal."

"You have black hair and you wear skinny jeans - of course you're suicidal!"

The whole hallway was staring.

"You have pink hair!" he yelled in response.

"But you see, pink is a happy color. Flowers are pink. Black is a sad color. Dead flowers are black."

"Oh, my, God. What happened to Ohio that filled it with so many stupid people? I'm not suicidal!"

He slammed his locker shut and the final bell rang for the day to end. He knew his brother was going to be picking him up until his own car was fixed (long story) so he left for the car lines.

Sakura followed, with Naruto dragging behind.

Sasuke waited about ten minutes, and his brother showed up. He opened the front door, and tossed his bags in.

"Hey there, my foolish little brother," he said lovingly. "How was your first day of Kindergarden?"

"Senior year. Seriously. If you're gonna make a joke, make it funny."

"Right. Whatever."

Sasuke got in the car, and shut the door.

"Did you see that?" Sakura asked quietly.

"What?"

"His older brother insulted him...and he wore eye makeup!"

**End-Of-Chapter Notes: I'm excited to write the first chapter of this, though I really should be posting more on the other stories...hm. I'll just have to stick to writing this by hand in science class. Toodles~**


	2. A Suicidal Friendship Trio!

**A/N: Ah! Long chapter! It's six pages on open office and everything...so, anyways. I've decided to start a blog, because...well, my life is incredibly freaking random and a blog about it would be highly relieving.**

_**Reviews Appreciated**_

.

.

"And that concludes my powerpoint on Aokigahara, the Forest of Five Hundred Suicides."

Stifled, awkward clapping filled the class. The girls cried, the men weeped.

"I don't understand," cried Hinata, the only actually Asian kid there. (Why do the white kids have Japanese names? Because it's Ohio, and Ohio's flipping weird.) Naruto, seeing her in despair, hugged her. Which was actually all a part of her plan, but whatever.

"Tehre are lessons we can learn from Aokigahara, guys," Sakura reassured, patting Hinata on the shoulder. Naruto looked up.

"That if the Japanese aren't watching tentacle porn, they're killing themselves?"

"No."

"Oh."

"In Aokigahara, there are signs up everywhere that are meant to discourage people from killing themselves. So, I think that we should, too – and post them around the school."

Everyone appeared to agree, so she handed out posterboard, and reminded them all to be creative.

.

.

The note on the fridge went like this: "Do the dishes before you walk to school. I'm incredibly hungover. -Itachi."

Sasuke sighed, and went to look for his iPod. No way in hell was he cleaning up from Itachi's party-ish thing. (It was really lame.) He made a piece of toast and left the house, toast in mouth, buds in cars. Without realizing it, he began to monotonously sing along with the music.

"You're from a whole other world, a different dimension. You've opened my eyes; I am ready to go lead me into the li-ight~"

Well, it wasn't really singing so much as saying the lyrics.

A car horn went off behind him, startling him. He took his ear buds out.

"Hey, you! Want a ride?"

He had absolutely no idea who this guy was. The girl next to him was vaguely familiar, though. Kiara? Kevin?

"It's okay, sauce-y. He's not a scary as he looks."

Karin.

"Um..."

"If you want to get to school on time, I'd say yes to his offer."

He groaned, nodded, and got in the back seat. The windows were tinted when he got in, so he failed to notice the large, intimidating man in the seat next to him. Was this guy even in high school? He had New York style hair, all slicked back and such. Not to mention, it was bleached orange. He imagined that, well, no one fucked with this kid.

The frightening and unsettling boy and/or man looked over at him and smiled.

"Hello. My name is Jugo."

His voice was soft, like silk.

"...Yeah..." Sasuke cleared his throat and looked out the window. The driver, also feeling the need to suddenly introduce himself, gave the name Suigetsu.

As they pulled into the parking lot, no words were exchanged. They all exited the car, and headed for the school. Sasuke lead the pack. However, his footsteps halted as he entered the building.

Silence.

"Damn," Karin remarked.

"Ugh. Seriously? Not them again!" shouted an overly frustrated Suigetsu.

"What is it?" asked Jugo in a sleepy tone. "What's going on?"

They looked all around at the sligthly embarrasing signs hung up around the hallways. Things that read "Don't kill yourself, Sasuke! You have friends that love you!" and "If your parents took the time to conceive you, you're important!" were posted all over the walls and lockers. Jugo looked around, and his face grew blood red with sheer rage.

Sasuke stood there, blank stare plastered on his emotionless face. Jugo was freaking out.

"_I FREAKING HATE THOSE BASTARDS!"_ he yelled, tearing each poster down in a manic fury, ripping them in half, and then eating them. Karin took this moment to step closer to Sasuke.

"Don't let them get to you, Sasuke."

"I wasn't," he replied nonchalantly.

Sasuke stepped forward, shaking his head. He was ready to leave.

"Hey, Sasuke!" yelled Suigetsu.

He turned back around, irritated. "What?"

"You should, you know, sit with us at lunch or something! You seem like a pretty cool guy."

"...sure," he replied, trying to kill the conversation. He didn't like the idea of sitting with anyone. Before anyone could say anything, he left for his first period class. The bell would ring in fifteen minutes.

He liked the band hall, as far as someone can like something after only a day. He didn't particularly like playing in a group, especially not in the Saxophone section with the shitty Saxophone players trying too hard to be sexy Sax men.

However, being in class wasn't any better. On a desk sat the blonde kid from yesterday. Sasuke almost turned around, before his perception kicked in and allowed him to take in the scene. He didn't seem to notice Sasuke; he was too busy tuning a ukelele. It was pure mahogany, with the name "Uzumaki" etched into it. He was wearing the same wooden cross necklace he had worn yesterday.

Sasuke hadn't even realized this guy was in his class, much less that they had a uke section.

He began to play it, not a minute after he finished tuning. Rather than ignore it, Sasuke decided to see just how musically gifted this guy was. He recognized the tune as a Jason Mraz song. Uzumaki was actually fairly decent.

Waking up to someone playing the ukelele was nice. It would have been nicer if all the other things hadn't happened that morning.

"Hey...you're Sasuke Uchiha!"

He jumped, and replied with nothing but a nod. He hadn't even realized the music stopped. In his head, he had flipped his hair to the side, grinned, and bragged "Yeah. I _am _Sasuke Uchiha."

Of course, that was only in his imagination.

"My friend met you yesterday, but I never said anything. I'm Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki."

"Cool."

Sasuke got out his instrument and sat in his section. Rather than go to his section, Naruto hovered over him.

"So. I couldn't help but notice...you're a man of few words."

"I talk...when I'm interested."

"What interests you?"

"Nothing."

Naruto mulled this over, then laughed.

"Then let's talk about nothing!"

"Let's not."

Silence.

"Dang, bro. You're good at this."

Naruto smiled and sat beside him, causing him to feel uncomfortable. It seemed like the further to the side he scooted, the closer the blonde got.

"Hey, can I wear your glasses?" Naruto asked, before quickly taking them off of Sasuke's face and putting them on his own. He...well, no. He did not look good. In the least. Hipster Naruto was something that should have never, EVER happened.

"Wow, dude, you're blind."

"It...runs in the family," he said, snatching them back and cleaning them off on his shirt.

When the bell rang, Naruto ran back to his seat, tripping over the French Horns in the isle.

.

.

Suigetsu Hozuki had really bad teeth.

REALLY BAD TEETH.

They weren't dirty or anything – in fact, they were white. Very white.

However, their shape was...abominable. They weren't even spaced out. They appeared to be shaped to look like the mouth of a shark – all of the teeth looked like canines. Sasuke wondered if this was the result of some tragic accident.

As for Kevin/Kim/Whatever-Her-Name-Was, she had to be wearing colored contacts or something. Her eyes were dark red, the way a rose is in the prime of its life. But it didn't have a stunning "OMG – YOUR HAIR MATCHES YOUR EYES!" effect. No, this was more of a "You're possessed, please step out of my office now."

And those eyes kept watching him. Everywhere he went.

Jugo was the most normal of the bunch – with the exception of his strange behavior this morning with the posters.

"So, that's how I got my job at the Pet Shelter."

Karin smiled, and looked at Sasuke to see his reaction. Like she always did.

"That's...nice?" he replied, trying to just eat his sandwich without shitting out of his ears.

"Jugo here's real good with animals. It's like he can talk to them or something."

"But I _can_ talk to them..."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Not only did he have horrible teeth that even braces couldn't fix, he also had an awkwardly thick New Jersey accent.

"So, are you from New Jersey?" Sasuke asked, not so much because he was interested, but because he hated not knowing things. Suigetsu grinned.

"Actually, I'm from Texas. Jugo here's from Jersey though. Tell him about your Jersey days, Jugo!"

Jugo sighed, and seemed to force himself onto another planet, one where stupid questions and even worse answers could easily be avoided. A planet with no politics.

Karin looked at Suigetsu.

"You know he doesn't like to talk about it..."

"Well, fuckface," he replied sourly. "Why don't you talk about it then? It might interest the newbie."

"Alright then. I will. If Jugo doesn't mind."

They all stared at Jugo. Except for Sasuke, who turned his attention back to his sandwich. It was halfway gone. How did that happen?

"Go ahead..." Jugo sighed. "I really don't care anymore..."

"Okay," Karin nodded, turning towards Sasuke and looking at him in a way that forced his attention span to magnetically attach to her face. "So, Jugo here was in a gang."

"A legit one."

"Yeah. Well, actually, he wasn't. His family was though. It affected him a lot."

"He eventually got caught in some big battle between his mother and some random lady. Not even sure why the fight started, it just did."

"And he just...snapped. Almost killed her."

"So Jew-gold here went to Juvie," he said, patting Jugo on the shoulder. "And was dismissed on account of mental instability."

Jugo sighed. "It just...got out of control I guess. My folks have me on medicine now, so I don't get as mad when I go schizo..."

Sasuke choked on his diet coke. If that anger attack on the posters was under control, he hated to see what he was like off the pills.

In mid-conversation, a hand slammed on the table beside Sasuke. He looked up to see the pink-haired thing that spoke to him yesterday.

"Hey there, Sasuke. I see you've made a few friends."

"No. I haven't. I'm just sitting here for the day. I'm too sexy for friends," he said, but actually didn't say because it was his imagination. Instead, Suigetsu spoke up.

"Hey, bitchface!" he yelled. Something about using cuss words as prefixes to "Face" was fun to this guy. "Why don't you get the fuck out of here? Can't you see we're trying to eat? One more look at you and Sasucakes here won't be able to keep his food down."

Well, that was blunt.

"Pardon me, Suigetsu. Bad language is unacceptable here. I'm afraid I have to ask you to stop." She turned her attention back to Sasuke. "So my friends and I have decided to invite you to a dinner party."

"Wow. You have friends?" Karin asked, bitterly. Sakura ignored her as well.

"It's tomorrow at five. You should totally go. It will be fun, and I'll pay for you. Here's my number."

She handed him a slip. Sasuke simply nodded and returned to drinking his dietlicious soda. Sakura walked away, looking like she just won one million dollars.

"Why didn't you say no?" Karin asked, hoping for a good answer.

"I probably won't go. But, then, it's free food. Maybe I'll go."

"But they're just gonna preach to you the whole time!"

"Free food. Seriously. I can just ignore them."

"Are you sure? I mean, they're pretty hard to just pass off..."

"I dunno. I've been told I'm great at ignoring people."

He stood up and dumped out his tray, then left the cafeteria.

Free food.

Even if it meant dealing with the SALs, it had to be worth it.

.

.

**End-Of-Chapter Notes: So I understand not a whole lot happened with the SAL Club in this chapter. That's because I'm reserving all of the Sasuke-Torture for the next chapter. Until next time!**


	3. The Great Depressions!

**An. I saw the Avengers, and I was honestly troubled by it. Not that it wasn't an amazing movie, but the fact that Captain America and Thor weren't really...badass. I usually hate The Hulk as well, and in this movie, he was my favorite character!  
>I am happy with Marvel, though. Because they're bringing in fucking Thanos. THANOS. YES. And, Thor 2 will be coming out on my birthday next year. Forget birthday sex, man, I'm goin' to go get some eye candy. Not that I'd have birthday sex anyways. I'm still too young and innocent! :D<strong>

**Read more at the End-Of-Chapter Notes.**

**Reviews Appreciated, I don't own Naruto, Snack Packs, Diet Coke, TOMS, blahblahblah.**

* * *

><p><strong>.<strong>

**.**

As has been previously stated, Sasuke's least favorite day of the week was Wednesday.

However, Fridays were every bit as miserable, and his second least favorite day of the week. Why?

Because Friday was just a way of lying to you, making you think your troubles are over. They set you up for the emotional downfall that is Sunday, his third least favorite day of the week.

And today, his third day of school, coincidentally landing on a Friday, he thought he just might change his mind about Wednesday. Because today was the day he had to go out to eat with Sakura Haruno, which was just now sounding like a bad idea. The food may have been free to him, but the idea of sitting with her and her so called "Friends" scared him a little, if not a lot.

And this was only first block.

"Hey there, buddy."

Sasuke slowly turned his head to the right to see the face of Naruto. Or, an extreme closeup of his face.

"Your breath smells like an ass," Sasuke said, quickly turning away. Naruto stared at him for a moment, shrugged, and popped some gum into his mouth.

"Sorry, bro. I brushed my teeth and all, but I had a soda before first block. Kinda defeats the purpose, ya know? Sakura's always telling me, 'Naruto! If you don't stop drinking all that soda, your teeth are gonna turn yellow!' It's really embarrasing, because she always says it in front of everyone. Don't you just hate it when people are like that? All up in your face about stupid stuff?"

"Yes," Sasuke growled, looking into his soul and not his face because he was Sasuke. "I _do _hate it when people get in my face about stupid things. Funny you should mention."

"I know, right?"

He sat down on the chair in front of Sasuke and spun around to face him. His poor ukelele sat, abandoned, in his chair that was so far away from Sasuke.

"So my friend Sakura. She thinks you're suicidal and all, but to be honest, I think she has a totally huge crush on you and stuff."

"Don't we all?"

"Not me, man. I totally disagree with man-on-man." He said this while pointing to his cross necklace. Sasuke shook his head angrily.

"Just because you're a Christian doesn't mean you have to 'totally disagree' with it. I mean, I am, and I think they're fine."

"You're gay?"

"What? No. I meant that I'm a Christian. But if I were gay, would it make you dislike me?"

"Whatever, man," Naruto sighed, getting up and heading back towards his chair.

"What the hell is wrong with Ohio?" Sasuke asked himself, picking up his Saxophone and playing a few warm-up notes.

.

.

"So then he says, 'You're a real douche, Kiba. You know that?' and he rips the poster down. I mean, it's not like I was being mean to her or anything! The poster was to motivate her."

Kiba, the speaker, shook his head and looked up at the girl he was talking to - Ino Yamanaka.

"I don't understand that group," she sighed, looking off at them from across the cafeteria. "They're always rejecting help from our group but...they really do need it. You can just tell they're depressed and in need of friends..."

"The weirdest part is, he totally hated the girl beforehand. Now they're all buddy-buddy. Except they're still really mean to each other."

"Perhaps..." Ino went into thought. "Perhaps the girl is addicted to abuse. She does come from an abusive household, after all. That's why we chose to start defending her."

"No way..."

"Could be. And that new Sasuke kid - his brother's abusive, according to Sakura. A total drunk."

"There's gotta be a way to get him out of there. He doesn't deserve to live like that. No one does!"

"Well, if we could get him to admit that his brother is an alcoholic and is his guardian, and that he is dangerous, then we could get it recorded and send it in to a child protection agency. I know an orphanage isn't the ideal place to be, but he needs something better than what he has."

"Why didn't we do that with Karin?" Kiba asked, looking back over at them.

"Because we could never get her to admit it. And because that Suigetsu kid always shuts us up whenever we try to do anything."

Kiba stood up and approached their table.

"Hey there, Sasuke Uchiha. I'm Kiba."

Suigetsu had yet to get out of the line for food, so it was just Sasuke, Karin, and Jugo.

"It seems like everyone's dying to meet me," Sasuke said sarcastically, but didn't really say. He just imagined he did. Instead, he really just said "Cool."

"Kiba Inuzuka. I was wondering..."

Kiba sat down at the table and got awful close to him.

"Do you like how you're living, right now?"

"No. Not particularly. I mean, I am in Ohio, aren't I?"

"But I mean, with your friends...with your family..."

"My family's dead. All I have is my brother. And everyone at this damn school thinks I'm suicidal. Of course I hate how I'm living right now."

"Does that make you...depressed?"

"Go away, please."

"I just wanna know, man. I mean, we could be buddies and stuff. If you like, I could tell you how my life has been lately. Then you can share."

"Leave. Now."

"Sasuke," Karin butted in. "Just pretend he's a ghost. He'll go away after a while of being ignored - he's not the worst of the SALs."

"Oh, hello Karin," Kiba smiled. "Haven't seen you in a while. How's your life been?"

"Fuck off."

"Parents treating you well?"

"I said_ fuck off_."

"How about your little friend, the one with the screwed up teeth and-CCKKCCCK"

The noise was made as Jugo suddenly lifted Kiba into the air by his neck. Everyone in the cafeteria turned.

"I suggest," Jugo said, taking on the voice of a mobster. "You leave. Before I break every bone in your body, and the rest of you to the boy with the screwed up teeth."

He dropped Kiba.

Kiba ran.

"J-Jugo..." Karin said, startled. "You...you better get out of here, before the teachers come after you."

"They won't," he replied casually, voice returning to normal. "They're scared of me, too."

Suigetsu took this opportune moment to sit down at the table.

"Hey guys," he grinned, stealing Karin's Snack Pack. "What'd I miss?"

"Oh, nothing," Karin replied, grabbing the bottom of the pudding cup and squeezing it so that it exploded on Suigetsu. "Nothing at all."

"Dude, uncool. These pants are white."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I'm colorblind, so I didn't know."

"You're a bitch."

"And you're a dick. Congratulations, we're even. Don't steal my fucking Snack Pack."

_It's love_, thought Sasuke, though sarcastically. He took a sip of his diet coke.

.

.

When he sat down to dinner with her, he wondered two things: 1.) Where the hell were her friends? 2.) Was she going to talk about the incident with Jugo today?

No, it was just him and her. He wore exactly what he had worn to school that day - a grey wife-beater, a plaid overshirt, black skinny jeans, and dark blue TOMS. However, she decided to be fancy and wear a red dress, where the straps went around her neck like a necklace rather than over her shoulders. It was a long dress.

When he finally got into his seat, she stood there for a moment, wondering if he was going to pull the chair out for her. When he didn't, she coughed politely, and sat down herself. "The boy should always pull the seat out for the girl," she muttered.

"That's only when the boy's a gentleman. And I don't particularly feel like being a gentleman right now."

"That's classy," she remarked sarcastically. "In the movies, the man manages to keep his gentlemanlike qualities, even in the face of someone he dispises."

"This isn't a movie," he sighed. "This is dinner."

She smiled, taking the remark as calmly as she could.

"So...I should probably tell you some things about the people in my group...they're probably coming off as rude and snobbish, aren't they?"

"What? Your friends? Noooo. I particularly like the guy with the ridiculous markings on his face. What was it? Kyle?"

"Kiba."

"Yeah. He's a gentleman if I've ever met one."

She laughed.

"You're funny," she smiled. "I like that. No, he just doesn't get along well with very many people. You just have to get to know him. He's really nice after a while..."

"You mean, after I submit to his demands, pretend I'm suicidal, and let him take me away from my family?"

"Away from your family? What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, yeah. Karin told me all about it. How your club tried to take her away from her household. You should know, my brother isn't abusive. He's a college guy. He has a few drinks every now and then, but who doesn't at that age? He honestly gets _nicer_ after a drink or two."

Her eyes were wide with surprise, but then she settled herself down and smiled again. "Let's not talk about the club then, if the subject bothers you. We can just talk about ourselves."

"Go ahead," Sasuke replied, bored. "I'm all ears."

This was, of course, an incredible amount of undetected sarcasm - he was planning on tuning it all out.

"Well. Okay. I'm an only child, and my family isn't exactly poor or rich. I don't have any pets. You probably want to hear more interesting things, though. Let's see..."

She seemed to be trying to think of something interesting about her life.

"Honestly, I'm not that unusual of a person. I was part of the group in school that helped teach girls about abstinence in ninth grade, before I had heard about the Save A Life Club. And, well, I was all in for that one when I heard about it - saving people just seemed like such an awesome opportunity. At first, people were more cooporative. Afterwards, they would come to us and say thanks and all. They were grateful. A few people even joined the group afterwards. I mean, there was Naruto. He didn't have any friends. Then he joined the SALs. And, well, he's a much happier person now."

Sasuke looked up at her.

"So people that you go after are depressed?"

"Yes."

"Or, were depressed. When did they stop cooporating?"

"Oh. Um...I think near the end of my Sophmore year, when we changed the school from having the highest suicide rate in Ohio to the lowest. It was like everyone was happy. Except for one kid...you're friends with him. His name's Suigetsu."

"Suigetsu. Yeah."

"And after him, Karin moved here, from being homeschooled. She never really cliqued with anyone. Then Suigetsu started harrassing her. We sent a few of our people in to stop her from being bullied. When we finally sent Kiba in to talk to Suigetsu, it happened at the wrong time. We had put a poster up, trying to motivate her. It said something like 'Good luck at the championships, Karin!' on it. It wasn't even offensive, it was for her poetry contest. She's a super poet. But Suigetsu was reading the poster, and he took it all wrong. So did Karin. And he beat Kiba to...well, a pulp. Broke his arm and everything. And the day after that is when Jugo moved here. We've never really had problems with him..."

He waited for her to say "until today", but she never did.

"And then there's me."

"Yes. Then there's you. But, you coming out to dinner proves one thing to me - if, I'm not saying you are, but if you are depressed, you'll be a lot easier to help than the other three."

"I'm not depressed."

"I wish I could trust your word, but unfortunately we can't."

"And why not?"

"Because when the SALs were first starting out, the kid they tried to help kept denying it. And eventually, she killed herself."

He looked down. It was like this was almost starting to make sense. And yet, it was bringing up more questions. Questions he was too lazy to ask.

"Now then, Mr. Uchiha," she said, taking a sip of her water. "It's your turn. Tell me a little bit about yourself."

"Well," he said, trying to think of what he could say that would make him sound like a non-depressed person. "I play Saxophone. I'm okay at it. I guess, if I did have a hobby, it would be reading or listening to music."

"So you're a really musical person, aren't you? What's your favorite genre?"

"I don't have one."

"Rap? Country? Pop?"

"Seriously. I'll listen to anything. Everything has a bit of originality. Well, except Pitbull."

"Ew."

"Really."

So far, this was okay. She wasn't being absolutely horrible. And she didn't seem to be dragging anything out of this that she could eventually use against him. For a free meal, this was alright.

.

.

"I'm home, Itachi."

He sat his keys down on the counter and looked over to see Itachi sitting on the couch with two of his friends - Hidan, a friend who had recently taken on the strange trend of dying your hair white, and Kisame - a boy who must have grown up in Alaska or something. His skin was blue, which was an incredibly unusual trait. Incredibly unusual, but not unheard of. The three of them were playing a zombie-based game.

"Alright," Itachi replied, too focused to say anything.

"Hey there," Kisame said in his frightening tone of voice that screamed 'Hello, everyone! I am a walking pack of cigarette smoke!'

"Hi."

Sasuke approved of this conversation as his daily intake of Itachi, and went upstairs to his room to blast music.

.

.

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><p><strong>End of Chapter Notes: CONTINUING ON THE AVENGERS.<br>I don't know who's more attractive, though. I mean, Thor's like, the sexy young man that you would like to see out in your front yard chopping firewood, sweat coming off his brow and all. But then, he'd probably be a hideous old man. And then you've got Captain America, which kind of sounds like the name for a line of condoms. But regardless of the name, Captain America has that old-school kind of style, that sexy hair that isn't too long or too short - it's like, perfect - and he has the firm jawline. And no facial hair. Thor is the only person I've ever liked with facial hair.**

**What do you think? If you actually read these rants, give your opinion! I'll love you forever! :)**


	4. The 4th Chapter of Sadness!

**An. **LEON KENNEDY IS SO DAMN SEXY. WHY?

And the worst part is - no man will ever, EVER look like him. EVER. (Well, Keanu Reeves could, if he had the hair for it.) That is why he should not star in any live action movies unless they happen to find the one guy who looks like him *coughKeanuReevescough*. AND JOHANN URB **_/DOES NOT/_** LOOK LIKE HIM. GRRR!

Continued in notes~

**Reviews Will Be Appreciated At My Funeral.**

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><p>.<p>

.

Where the _bloody fuck _did the weekend go?

This was exactly why he hated Fridays. You go home, make a mental list of all of the shit you're going to do and how fucking awesome all of it will be, go to bed early, wake up and it's Monday.

Monday!

"Damn," he mumbled, dragging himself out of bed. His hair was a wreck, but he was still sexy. He ran a comb through it, and made his way to the computer to check his morning emails when - _crack_ - he stepped on something. Slowly looking down, he saw that he had stepped on his glasses.

...

HOW THE FUCK DID THEY EVEN GET THERE?

He grumbled agnrily as he made himself go to the kitchen. Itachi, alone and sober for once, looked at him.

"So you broke your glasses," he said, taking the shattered frame from Sasuke and inspecting it. "No sweat...I'll get you another pair after school today. Try to make it through the day until then."

"Alright," Sasuke sighed, grabbing a few dollars out of Itachi's wallet and slamming the door behind himself. (The money was for breakfast – he refused to eat toast again this morning.) Still grumbling, he made his way down to the end of the street, when the familiar and unfriendly car horn of his "friend" went off behind him. He turned around, and made out the strange shade of white that was Suigetsu's odd hair color.

"Hey, Sasuke. Need a ri-HOLY SHIT MAN. YOUR GLASSES ARE GONE."

"Did you get dumber over the weekend?" Sasuke retorted, rolling his eyes.

"Are you wearing contacts?"

"No. I'm going blind for the day - broke my glasses this morning."

"Well then, you should definately accept my proposal and get in my fucking minivan now."

It was a minivan, wasn't it? How lame. How come he'd had never noticed this?

Regardless, he got in the car and was somewhat– _somewhat –_thankful. Karin and Jugo weren't in yet.

"Where's everyone else?" Sasuke asked, looking around.

"I'm picking them up after you, since you're closer and all. So, are you nearsighted or farsighted?"

Oh God.

"I'm nearsighted..."

"So can you tell how many fingers I'm-"

"NO. I CAN'T FUCKING TELL HOW MANY FINGERS YOU'RE HOLDING UP!" Sasuke replied, but didn't really reply because Sasuke is a levelheaded individual with good teenage planning skills. Instead, he took the nicer route. "Three?"

"Four, man. You are blind."

_"That would be why I wear glasses."_

Karin got in next and - wait. What the hell?

She was wearing a white hat with gold in the front, but she was wearing it sideways in a gangsterlike fashion. Her shorts were riding up her ass - which was not exactly an attractive place to look at in the first place - and her shirt was CERTAINLY not even a shirt. Maybe half of one. No, it was one of those shirts you're _supposed _to wear with a tank top underneath, but no girl ever does because secretly, every American Teenager is or will become a slut at one point.

At least in Ohio.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Suigetsu snorted at her. "You look like a prostitute, without the ass-ets." He put emphasis on the "ass" part of the word. It was pun-tasticly unfunny.

"For your information, you dick-twaddling fucknaut, today is national Dress Code Day. Everyone's doing it, except for the two of you, obviously," she growled. She looked at Sasuke. "Oh, nice face by the way. You should not wear glasses more often."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, already not pleased with how much these people noticed his glasses-free face. They'd only known him for a few days. Seriously.

"I swear, bitch, I don't know why I even give you a ride sometimes," Suigetsu groaned. They drove by Jugo and opened the door. Without a word, he hopped in. And not an instant later, Suigetsu had a spasm.

"OH MY GEORGE FUCKING LUCAS - THE SONG!"

"What song?" Karin asked.

"THE SONG! IT'S ON THE RADIO! EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP."

He turned the radio up obnoxiously loud to blast "Push It". Salt-N-Pepa. For real.

Today, they rode with class.

.

.

"I think now would be a perfectly opportune moment to tell you that you scare the shit out of me, and that your breath REALLY smells like an ass. I'm not even joking."

"I'm chewing gum, how can my breath smell bad?"

"Point being, you're way too close. Back. Up."

Sasuke scooted back once more. This blonde freakazoid of a human was stalking him or something.

"I just wanted to talk, man. If you don't like me, you should really come out and say it."

"Okay. I strongly dislike you."

"Ha. You're funny."

Naruto was, once more, turned around in the chair. He didn't seem to take kindly to insults. Not that he could actually understand him, his whole life was a vast monument to the foundation of pure and honest stupidity.

"I'm not being funny. Really, man. I don't even know you, and you're hanging all over me."

"Well, so is everyone else. I figured I might as well hop on the bandwagon while there's still room."

Ha. Bandwagon. Band humor.

But not really.

"Oh my lord."

"Don't take his name in vein."

"I-ugh. Okay. Just, leave. Seriously, bro. I need to warm up my instrument."

"I can see that you're having a rough day, so I'll just be quiet."

He didn't move. Sasuke lifted up his instrument, and played a high "G". (For those of you who aren't music nerds, having this note blasted in your ear is, well, painful.)

"OH GOSH. OKAY. I'll just, you know, go back to my seat. See you tomorrow."

.

.

"Hey there, Sasuke."

"Oh hi-"

He turned around to see her walking by. Her, with that flowery scent of girlyness and that horrible pink hair.

"-Sakura."

She smiled and stopped walking with her friends, then walked back to him - alone.

"How was your weekend?"

"It was...um..."

_Horrible. I broke my glasses this morning, so I couldn't read any notes in Band. Yesterday my brother had a party with a college fraternity, and I'm fairly certain he's gay now. As well, I've never seen a blue penis before - until Saturday. Have you?_

"It was fine."

"That's good to hear. I can tell, you're really starting to get the hang of this place."

She smiled once more and walked away. He sighed.

.

.

"So you changed your lunch number again, Suigetsu?"

"Fuck off, Kiba."

"Is it because of me?"

"Well, I don't know. Are you the one hacking into my account and spending all of my money?"

"Certainly not!"

"Then no. Now go away."

"You're certainly not a nice person."

Kiba used one arm to both lift Suigetsu off the ground and slam him into a locker. Suigetsu was shorter than him, and although he was growing, he certainly didn't seem to be growing fast enough to keep up with this.

"Give me your lunch number."

"No!"

"Give it to me, dweeb."

"Who says that? Really? You're so uncreative! I'm shocked that we're even the same species, and frankly, I'm upset, because I'm hell of a lot more intelligent!"

He tightened his grip on Suigetsu and punched him with his other arm. His eye immediately showed pain, getting dark around the lids.

"Hey, who's out there?"

Kiba dropped him and ran. Suigetsu sat against the locker.

If it had been anyone else, they would have cared that he had a black eye. But he was Suigetsu Hozuki, so they simply shrugged and walked away.

"Damn Kiba," he growled. "One day I'll be so much taller than you, and I'll kick your ass. Not that I already couldn't, but I sure as hell am not getting dragged back to the councelors."

He stood up and made his way to lunch, but didn't stand in the line today. Sasuke looked at him, squinting, while Karin carried on.

"They didn't even dress code me! Or anyone else! The only thing that's happened all day is hateful glares from the SALs. That's ALL!"

Jugo shook his head.

"Boring indeed. They tried to dress code me, till they realized who I am."

He looked down at his sagging pants and holy shirt - not holy as in Jesus, holy as in filled with holes. Would that be "Holey"? I don't even.

Sasuke leaned in to get a closer look at Suigetsu.

"Are you..."

_Yes, I have a black eye. What are you gonna do about it?_

"...Are you wearing eyeshadow, Suigetsu?"

Suigetsu slammed his head on the table, which only irritated his swollen eye more.

"You're so fucking blind!"

"Well, it seems like something you would do."

Karin looked up to se if he was indeed wearing makeup - because honestly, that would bring about some great insults - but noticed that instead, he had a huge swell of skin around it.

"Did you get into a fight, Suiget-I mean, dickface?"

"None of your business."

"You did, didn't you?"

"No, Karin. I ran into a pole."

"As much as I'd love to believe that..."

She sighed and stood up.

"I can fix it up. Let me go to the nurse with you. She doesn't like me, but she likes me more than you. I'll tell her a better story."

"No way, man. She'd probably hand you poison instead of disinfectant."

_"I'll do it..."_

_They looked at Sasuke._

_"I mean, the teachers here don't exactly like me, but I'm sure my attractiveness would win them over."_

The past three lines didn't happen.

"I'll do it."

They looked at Jugo, who actually said this.

"I mean, the teachers here don't like me, but they can't say no when I speak because they're all afraid of me."

Karin and Suigetsu nodded. "Sasuke, want to come along?"

"No."

"Okay then. Have fun sitting by yourself."

They all left him.

And immediately afterwards, a strange looking individual took their place.

"Hi," he said, not showing any hints at emotion. Sasuke blinked.

"Hello?"

"My name is...Sai..."

"Okay? Are you a Save-A-Life Agent, come to make sure I'm not sitting by myself? Because I'm fine."

"I am in the club...but I'm not here for that. I came here to talk to you about something completely different, actually. Do you know anything about..."

(He whispered the rest so that even I, the narrator, could not hear it.)

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"So you're the..."

"Don't tell anyone, but...I need your help."

.

.

Sasuke made his way to the line of cars and hopped into the passenger's seat with Itachi.

The brothers didn't talk at all, and drove to the local eyeglass store in the mall.

"I swear," Sasuke complained, having tried several pairs on. "None of these will ever look as good as the last ones. These are...blegh."

"I think I can help."

He turned around to see a slightly familiar - but not completely, because he had no idea who she was - face. She was asian and had very lightly colored eyes. So light, it was bothersome. It was as if the brown were transparent with the black. He would think she were blind if she weren't also wearing glasses.

"M-my name is...Hinata. Can I help you with something today, sir?"

Poor wench.

"I need...well, I need something that looks good."

She jumped at him actually responding to her - she probably wasn't talked to very often, her voice being as quiet as it was.

"W-well, I think I can help..."

She took him to a different section, where nearly all the frames were solid black.

"I've seen you around school...these are what you used to wear, right?"

"Yeah."

He tried on a few until he found the right pair.

"They...cost a little more than the others...but they do look better."

He nodded.

"I'll buy these, I suppose."

She nodded, happy that she had made a sale.

While she was ringing him up, she asked him something.

"What?" he asked. "I didn't quite hear that."

"Oh...um...it's nothing."

"No, really. What did you ask?"

She wouldn't have answered if his face weren't so damn intimidating and attractive.

"You hang out with..._Naruto_ sometimes, right?"

Her emphasis on Naruto made it sound like the mere thought of him made her die on the inside.

"We aren't friends, but he talks to me in band. Why?"

"It's...nothing. Here-" she said, interrupting her own conversation to thrust the glasses in his direction. "Thankyouhaveaniceday."

He looked at her for a moment, shrugged, and left. Itachi was chatting it up with a group of large-breasted women.

"Come on, let's go," he growled at his brother. Itachi sighed and turned to leave with him.

"You're a cockblock," he whispered.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing at all. What a nice day."

.

.

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><p><strong>notes: <strong>WOW. WHAT AN UNEVENTFUL CHAPTER.

So anyways. Leon Kennedy. He's a beautiful person. I don't understand why Resident Evil loves to screw with my mind so much. Why make such a beautiful person? It's teasing the young and youthful women of the world. I think we should sign a petition: "STOP MAKING SEXY CHARACTERS IN VIDEO GAMES, AND GIVING THEM UGLY, BITCH-ASS ACTORS IN THE REAL CASTINGS. Kaythanksbye."

Look him up. He's hideous. (Not Leon. But his actor in Retribution.)

Reviews? :)


	5. Life Is a Bucket of Knives!

**An.** Writing a schoolfic, after school's out. Like a boss.

REVIEWS? :)

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><p>.<p>

.

"This week, we will discuss a very special event - Prom. As we all know, Prom is one big chain reaction: going leads to sex, which will lead to either an STD or a pregnancy. Then they break up, get depressed, and get an abortion - therefore, they are taking someone else's life. Prom my friends, equals death."

"Amen, sister!" shouted Ino. A few members laughed.

"So, while tickets are still on sale, I think we should give a speech on Sex Prevention."

Naruto stood up and walked to the front of the room.

"Good idea," he agreed. "If you want, can I help give the speech?"

"Sure!"

Sakura sat down while they played the anti-bullying-movie-of-the-week. Ino tapped her shoulder.

"Hey, who do you think the new guy will go with?"

"Who, Sasuke?"

Nod.

"I don't know...why should it matter?"

.

.

"You know what you should do, Sauce-y?"

Sasuke looked up, while considering a name change. He glared at her for the longest time, which was Sasuke-speak for "What, Karin? What should I do?"

"Well, see, there's a talent show. And you can play saxophone...and piano-"

"Wait-how did you-"

"I have my resources. Anyways, I think we should make a band - just for the talent show; I could sing, you could play keyboard. Suigetsu will drum and Jugo...well, he can't play any instruments, but he could film it."

Sasuke wasn't particularly fond of someone knowing about his secret talent with the piano. He responded negatively.

"That...is a horrible idea, Karin."

Karin looked at him, lowering her eyebrows.

"How else are we going to redeem ourselves?" she asked, sounding genuinely hurt. Sasuke looked forward, dully.

"We aren't. I thought you were happy with our group?"

"_Happy?_" she asked, quickly turning around to look him in the eyes. "Jugo is embarrassing, with his anger and all! Suigetsu's an asshole! You see how he treats me! Sasuke, you and I deserve so much better!"

"You're...insane."

Karin huffed, angrily.

"Fine then, I'll do it myself."

She turned right at the next stop sign.

"Hey, that's the wrong way!"

"I'm taking a detour."

.

.

"Where were you this morning?"

Suigetsu shrugged. "Felt like being alone today."

"Well, you missed Karin's meltdown."

"Oh?"

He sounded calm today. His accent was gone, almost. If Sasuke weren't a horrible friend, he'd ask if he were okay.

"What finally made her snap?"

"Something about wanting to 'redeem herself' at the talent show."

"Did you say no?"

"Yeah."

Suigetsu listened in on the conversations around them - none of which were interesting - and sighed.

"You know, we should do the show..."

"...huh?"

"The talent show...we should do it. For Karin."

"Why...?"

"If she," he paused, and suddenly re-developed his accent. "If it'll make her leave..."

"But I don't want Karin to leave," Jugo said. They had both forgotten he was even there. "Does she...does she really want to leave us?"

Sasuke considered telling him straight up what Karin had said, but decided against it. "Yeah..."

.

.

During second block, Sasuke was forced to partner up with someone. _Fucking English class, _he thought, trying to decide who to sit with. Almost everyone here was an S.A.L.

When all hope seemed lost, the boy from yesterday approached. Sai, was it?

"Hello, Sasuke Uchiha. Would you be angry if I asked to be your partner?"

"Not particularly, thank you for asking though."

Sai sat down beside him.

"We're doing a written report and poster on _A Midsummer Night's Dream_. This should be fairly easy for me, but - can you write?"

"Very well, actually."

"Okay, can I do the poster then? You could write the report."

Sasuke looked at him. Why was he being so nice? He was dead serious when he dropped by the table on Monday.

"Sure."

Sai grabbed a few different pencils out of his bag and went to grab a sheet of posterboard. He came back soon after, and Sasuke really wanted some answers.

"So, you want to talk about what you said at lun-"

"Not here, I don't. Maybe later."

He had just started the drawing and it was already impressive. The bottom was lined with artwork from Pyramus and Thisby, with Pyramus on the right, the Lion in the middle, and Thisby on the left. Then the middle had the cast from the main part of the play.

"I'll put the title at the top," Sai explained.

"Is that seriously the rough draft?"

"Yes. I just have to erase a few stray lines...I'm really not that good at this."

Rather than compliment him - because it felt like he was just asking for a compliment - Sasuke nodded and began to write the written report.

_A Midsummer Night's Dream,_ Sasuke began, and was unsure on what else to write because he didn't want it to sound too lame.

.

.

"A Save-A-Life Speech? You're kidding, right?"

Suigetsu grimaced. Oh boy.

"It's on 'Having a safe prom'! Fantastic, eh?" Karin rolled her eyes to go along with her sarcasm. "Wonder if you have to attend the speech if you're not going to prom?"

"You aren't going?" Jugo asked her. She shook her head.

"No one's asked me."

"Well, maybe we could all go - as friends. We are all seniors," he replied. "Plus, tickets are cheap, so if it sucks, we could just leave."

"I'm going," Suigetsu grinned. "As a crasher."

"You're going to...crash prom?" Sasuke asked, tired of not talking.

"Totally."

"Sasuke, are you going?" Karin asked, although she really didn't seem to care. He shrugged.

"Probably not."

She sighed.

"Maybe I'll just go with Jugo..."

Everyone looked at her, and wondered if she was thinking about leaving still, or if it were only a PMS statement.

"The speech is Friday..." Suigetsu backtracked, trying desperately to change topics.

"Or maybe I'll just stay home," Karin continued. Suigetsu gritted his teeth.

"Would you please stop bitching, Karin? Seriously, this isn't an episode of Glee. This is a story based on the real world of Ohio, where everything sucks much more than Glee could ever imagine."

"What are you even saying?" Karin asked, confused.

"We heard, you twat. We heard about you wanting to leave."

"Wait a-"

She looked at Sasuke, who was casually drinking his diet coke.

"Oh. I get it. So now all of you are a bunch of assholes..."

"I don't understand, Karin. What makes you think you're better than us?"

"Better than you? Well, let's see...do I randomly attack things that piss me off? Am I an anger-powered freak machine? How about a short, stubby little half-pint that has nothing better to do than to insult the only girl who has ever spoken to him?"

"Half pint? Bitch, I'm taller than you! And I'm still growing!"

"See what I mean? Can't you go one sentence without cussing at me?"

"No! Because you're a-"

"Would all of you please shut up?" Sasuke asked politely. "I'm trying to eat my meal."

Karin looked around and noticed everyone was watching.

"You know what?" Karin asked. "I'm going to go join the SALs."

"What?" Suigetsu barked.

"Yeah. That sounds nice. A place where people, however judgmental, are at least kind."

She left the table after promptly flipping her tray in Suigetsu's face.

Suigetsu looked over at Sasuke.

"That was smooth," Sasuke noted, handing him a napkin.

.

.

"I'm home," Sasuke all but yelled when he entered his house. Itachi was blasting music. His group was here, with a large amount of scantily clad women. Itachi himself was just chilling on the couch, and he honestly looked really bored.

"Oh, hey there," he said, for once seeming glad that his brother was home. "Guys, Sasuke's home."

Everyone pretended to listen and went on being disturbing. Especially Kisame.

But that's not going to be put into this story, because this is not a Lemon. If you would like to know more about Kisame's sex life, go to DeviantART or somewhere else that has a lot of shark-furries.

Sasuke walked up the stairs. Itachi followed.

"You know, I seriously can't wait to move out," Sasuke sighed. "I mean, the minute I turn eighteen, my ass is out of here. Forever."

"I'd apologize, but it wouldn't help anything. My companions are rather...well..."

"Kisame is blue. And that one guy that dresses like Lady Gaga, the one with the freaky plant-suit-thing..."

"Yeah. They're freaks I suppose."

"I'm going to go to my room now. Are we done with this lovely family chat?"

Itachi looked a little bit hurt.

"I...suppose."

"Good."

With that, Sasuke locked himself up in his room.

"I'm not always drunk, Sasuke," Itachi mumbled to himself, walking down the stairs. "Sometimes I understand what you say."

It was days like this, where Itachi was sober, where he watched his friends throw crazy sex-filled parties around him, where he realized that his parents would never be back, and he was probably ruining Sasuke's life by not being there for him.

And Sasuke didn't give a shit, because he was used to it.

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>notes. <strong>What a pointless chapter...huh. Well, to make up for it, here's the plot of the next chapter:

/When Sasuke finally realizes that he's head over heels in love with Sakura, will Naruto finally come out of the closet? Will we discover the true meaning of love through a short story on Itachi and Kisame? Does Jugo adopt a kitten? Find out next time on, THE SAVE-A-LIFE CLUB./

I'm just kidding. None of that will happen.


	6. Black Is The Color of My Soul!

_**An. **Dearest readers! As it currently stands, I would just like to thank you for the reviews and favoriting of this story. I don't want it to ever end, but it will eventually have to._  
><em>If it's near Prom in this story, that means the month would be...May, or April, I think. So, there will be a lot of freaking chapters. I will have to start skipping days soon. <em>

_Reviews are appreciated! :)_

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"Everyone, may I please have your attention?"

The members all turned to face the speaker - Sakura Haruno. Next to her stood Karin...wait, what?

"I know we've had our fair share of differences, but all of that must now be turned away. We have reached out for years, and finally, we reached Karin."

Clapping awkwardly made its way throughout the room.

"You see," she continued. "Karin was lost, but now is found. She has given up her old ways, and left her old friends. Please welcome her warmly.

"As a change of topic - we will be working on the Prom Speech this afternoon. The final talk will be during school on Friday. That gives us two days. Another reminder, the talent show is also coming up, so everyone try to help out as much as you can!"

Karin smiled shyly and took a seat near the door. She was beginning to wonder if this was all a bad idea...

"Hi there, Karin."

She looked up, and there stood Naruto and Ino. Hooray.

"We hear you wanted to do the talent show..."

"Oh, yeah," she replied. "I did. Was gonna sing and all...but it's okay now."

"Well, I mean...I play the ukelele, and Ino here, she plays the violin, so if you wanted to use either of our musical abilities..."

Karin smiled.

"Wait, really?"

"Of course!" Ino replied, with a huge and seemingly-fake smile.

Karin nodded. "Actually, I'd love nothing more."

"Hey," Sakura said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Has anyone seen Sai lately?"

.

.

_Fucking. Wednesday._

Sasuke sat up and searched for his glasses.

_Today, no one is going to fuck with me._

He went downstairs and found a brown paper sack next to a post-it note. The note read: "I made your lunch for you today. -Itachi."

Shrugging, he grabbed the bag, skipped breakfast, and headed outside. Suigetsu was asleep in his car, right on Sasuke's driveway.

Sasuke knocked on his window, scaring him.

"Oh, hi Sasuke."

"How the hell did you know this was my house?"

"Want a ride?"

Frustrated, but relieved, he got in the car.

"Sup, homeskillet?"

"Not much," Sasuke droned.

"So, I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for some McDonald's."

"That's disgusting."

"No. It's amazing."

He began to hum the old 'Put a Smile On' jingle and drove to McDonald's.

"Why the hell didn't you eat before you came to my house? I could be late."

"Because I love you."

Sasuke felt all the hair on his neck stand up. He scooted away.

"Dude. I'm kidding. Seriously."

"HI. THAT'LL BE FOUR FIFTY-SIX," interrupted the worker.

He reached over to hand the speaker the money, and under his butt were a pile of colorful papers. Deciding to be nosey for the first time in his life, Sasuke reached out and grabbed them.

"What the hell?" Suigetsu asked, feeling friction in his nether. Sasuke was reading a comic book.

"Oh. I see you've found my book."

"Did you...draw this?"

"Yep. I'm gonna become a graphic novellist."

The story followed a boy who could turn his body into water on demand. Which honestly sounded rather lame, but whatever.

"So..." Sasuke wondered out loud. "If...he can turn his body into water whenever he wants to...could he like, liquify his penis during intercourse?"

This, being very VERY unsasukelike, disturbed Suigetsu a little. Then, he managed a laugh.

"I guess. I don't know - this isn't _that_ type of comic.

For the rest of the ride, Sasuke wondered why he would ask such a stupid question out loud.

_Suigetsu must be rubbing off on me._

.

.

"I'm gay."

Sasuke shut his locker and looked to his left to see Sai. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I know. You told me this on Monday."

"Well, I just..." he trailed off, looking around as if the words would be randomly placed on the ceiling. "I needed someone to talk to. Outside of the SALs. And Suigetsu and Jugo, they're not the type of people I feel comfortable coming out to."

"Why the hell am I?"

"Because you're quiet, and nice. You won't beat the shit out of me."

"Jugo wouldn't, either."

"Sasuke."

Sasuke turned around and looked at him. It was strange now, how no one knew his secret. His clothes were always so tight and fashionable, like he bought them straight out of a magazine.

"What?"

"I can't tell anyone about it, and I don't want you to tell anyone about it. But..." he handed Sasuke his number. "Here, just text me sometime."

Sai turned.

"And don't worry - I'm not hitting on you."

"I never said you were?"

Sai nodded and walked away.

"My life is never going to be normal..." Sasuke sighed, shutting his locker.

.

.

When lunchtime rolled around on this exceptionally slow day, Suigetsu had a large swollen eye. It was already black from that overly eventful Monday. Sasuke decided to just not ask, because if Suigetsu wanted him to know - he'd say something.

Nothing happened for the next five minutes. Then, Jugo had an arm-wrestling competition with Suigetsu. Then, nothing happened again.

"I'm gettin' real tired of living here," Suigetsu growled under his breath. Sasuke opened his lunch now and discovered that Itachi didn't just pack him cereal for once.

He handed the Snack Pack to Suigetsu. "Why's that?"

"Isn't it obvious? I mean, look at my eye!"

Sasuke had expected him to be complaining about Karin, but he was okay with listening to this, too.

"It's black. Swollen. You know why? That damn Inuzuka keeps fighting me. And because of my height, I can't fight him back just yet."

"You said you were still growing, right?" Jugo asked him, trying to be cheery.

"Damn straight. And the minute I'm his size, or taller, I'm going to fucking _end him._"

Sasuke blinked.

"Suigetsu," Jugo said, frown on his face. "Do you miss Karin?"

"Fuck no! And why would I, even if we were friends? It's only been a day!"

Suigetsu was clearly upset.

"You know what?" he asked. Before anyone could reply, he continued. "I'm goin' home."

And he left.

"Why is everyone so..." Sasuke began, trying to find the word.

"Whiny and compulsive?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Karin's always that way. And Suigetsu can't stand either of us not being around. See, his older brother died a while back...so, he has abandonment issues..."

"My parents are dead," Sasuke groaned. "You don't see me complaining about everything."

Jugo looked away, trying to get off the uncomfortable subject. "So...Kiba got expelled. No more of that for a while."

.

.

When Sasuke came home, Itachi was on the couch with Kisame, although both of them were fast asleep.

Sasuke went over to see if they had left any beer out so that he could throw it out. To his surprise, there was none. Itachi was curled around an old album, though.

The album was black, with a picture of a fan on the front. This was their Childhood photo album...

Sasuke turned and ran to his room.

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>notes. <strong>To prevent myself from writing overly uneventful or angsty chapters, I have to go back and edit each chapter, to insert more comedic materials and such. But with this chapter...I COULDN'T DO IT! D:  
>If you have any plot ideas or suggestions as to what should happen next, leave them in the reviews! :)<p> 


	7. My Life Is a Screamo Song!

**An. **My pant legs are wet. I can't figure out what I put my foot in, either. It's kind of freaking me out. But it's soaked.

Having three dogs, it really starts to worry me when I step in things.

Reviews? :)

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"You know what?"

Sasuke and Suigetsu were now in the car together, after a somewhat rushed morning. Sasuke's hair was a mess – although it was still incredibly sexy – and Suigetsu…well, he looked the same as he always did.

So really, it was only a rushed morning for Sasuke, but whatever.

"What?"

"I think we should go to prom together."

"...you have three seconds to tell me what this is about."

It was as if yesterday had never happened. Sasuke, whom everyone noticed was beginning to open up a lot more, was drinking his morning Diet Coke. Suigetsu had just pulled into McDonald's again.

"Give me more than three seconds; I need to place my order."

Suigetsu looked away and talked to the same person from yesterday.

"Okay," he said, looking back at Sasuke. "I think we should both crash the prom. We could wear suits and sunglasses."

"What the hell are you even supposed to do when you crash prom?"

"I dunno, do crazy stuff."

"…I'll pass on this one, thank you."

"Suit yourself."

Suigetsu reached out for his meal, which consisted of nothing but hash browns. They had a deal, two for a dollar, and that's all he'd been getting since yesterday. He got eight then, now he was eating twelve.

"You're blowing your money."

_"Eat one of these and say that again."_

"No."

.

.

"You know, if I were a girl that was into blonde guys - no, if I were a girl that was into blonde guys with blue eyes and tan-ish skin, I'd be okay with you staring at me every day. In fact, I'd be more than happy, and probably turned on a little bit. But I am a straight guy that doesn't particularly like blonde haired men watching me every waking minute of my life. It does not turn me on, and it does not make me happy."

"That was a long sentence," Naruto speculated with a grin.

"I was speaking from the bottom of my heart," Sasuke replied.

"You have a heart?"

"Oh yeah. I guess, according to your club, I'm both heartless and soulless. No, I don't have a heart. Thank you for pointing that out to me."

Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"You're funny."

"I'm aware."

"Wanna hang out?"

Sasuke chewed on that for a while.

"Nope. Definately not."

"Why not? I just got this totally awesome video game and all, and I don't have anyone to play it with."

"...yeah?" Sasuke responded, with a hint of interest.

"Well, it's where you pick from a selection of weapons and fight Zombies. You start off in your house, and then you have to go to the safehouse, and you just save people...or kill them, depending on how you want the story to go."

"...A Zombie RPG?"

"Exactly."

Sasuke looked away, thinking it over. If it were an ordinary Zombie game, he wouldn't care so much. But this did sound pretty damn awesome.

"What's your number?" he asked, pulling out a pen to write it on his wrist.

.

.

Writing on his wrist was the worst idea ever, because everytime he'd walk down a hallway, people would stare at it, wondering if he cut himself. Then, when they saw that it was numbers and not a scab, they'd continue on with their lives.

.

.

Lunch with the SALs was like a dream.

Not a nightmare, but not its opposite, either. It was just a dream - a weird one, where you end up dancing with Muppets.

"So, erm...what's this 'Save-A-Life' Speech all about, anyways?" Karin asked, trying to feel included. Sakura turned to her.

"Well, Karin - it's about preventing murder."

"Murder? At prom?"

Sakura went on to explain. If you don't know what she means, go back and read the story from two chapters ago, "Life is a Bucket of Knives". Don't worry, there's no rush. In fact, there's such little rush, that you might even have enough time to read a few of the author's other stories. Because she loves you.

"But...that's stupid."

Everyone gasped and looked over at Karin. She hadn't even said it that loud, so it was shocking that they all heard her now.

"Stupid?" Ino asked. "How?"

"Well, I mean, I get what you're saying - how Prom can lead to unprotected, and stupid sex. But is a speech really going to change that? And, I mean, sex isn't such a bad thing. I understand not wanting the student body to get pregnant..." she paused to make sure everyone was still paying attention. To her surprise, they all were. "I get that. But why not come at it from a different angle - we could give the speech, and maybe hand out condoms? Still preach avoidance, but if it comes to it, they'll need protection."

"Karin," Sakura spoke after a few seconds of silence. "I understand your view, as well. However, handing them protection isn't what I want, because that will just make them want to do it. We're not just against unprotected sex, we're against any premarital sex."

Everyone nodded, some later than others. Karin wasn't sure if they actually agreed with her or not. In fact, she was certain some people were only here so that the club wouldn't come after them.

"Do you understand?"

Karin wanted to say no, she didn't. But, she had to agree. Didn't want any drama. "I guess."

"Don't worry," Ino said, trying to reassure her. "You're new here. Everything will start to make sense after a while."

Karin sat uncomfortably for a while, then looked at Naruto.

"I've decided your ukelele skills will come in handy. Is it alright if I practice with you? I'm feeling a ukelele version of 'Imagine'...John Lennon, yeah? Or even 'Hey Jude' would be cool on the uke."

"Sure!" Naruto agreed. "That sounds awesome."

.

.

_Hey, I have two cell phone numbers, and neither of them are from cool people._

Sasuke realized this during his third block Calculus class.

.

.

While Sasuke was walking home, Suigetsu pulled over.

"Yo."

"Oh, hi Suigetsu."

"Want a ride home?"

"...I suppose."

He hopped in the back.

"You know, it's gross how you just leave these McDonald's bags all over your car...what if maggots get in here?"

"There's no food in them, dumbass. And if there were, well, it's the circle of life."

"You're kind of really disgusting."

Suigetsu chuckled, then got quiet.

They got about halfway to Sasuke's house, when Sasuke spoke up.

"Hey, Suigetsu?"

"Yes, sauce-y?"

"I don't have your number."

Suigetsu grinned.

"Aw, my little man's all grown up. He's not too shy to ask for a girl's number anymore~"

"Shut up. I'm only saying it because...well, I now have two SAL on my cell phone. And neither you, Jugo, nor...well, neither your or Jugo have given me numbers."

"Why should we? I mean, you don't seem like the type of guy who likes to hang out."

"I...well, I've never really done it before, so..."

"Just take my damn number."

Suigetsu stopped promptly _in the middle of the road_, stole Sasuke's phone, typed his number down on the Caller ID, and continued driving after giving the world the middle finger.

.

.

"Heyyy little brother," Itachi singsonged.

Yep, he's drunk.

"Pick up any _fine_ babes today?"

"Please stop drinking. It freaks me out to see you smile."

"But if I stop, then there's no more partyyy!"

Itachi proceeded in chuckling about nothing.

"Freak."

Sasuke looked around. None of Itachi's friends were here today.

"Sasu-cakes, Sauce, my man Sassssukeee, I need, I need-uh-I need you to...walk the dog."

"We don't have a dog!" Sasuke yelled, hoping Itachi hadn't bought a dog while he was gone.

"Of course not! I was just testing you! I meant, I meant to say...uh...will you clean th_e..._do the laundry?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and decided to just go with it so that Itachi would just leave him alone.

.

.

**To: Sai**

_Sorry I didn't message you yesterday...um, just text back or whatever. Just not tonight, because I'm going to bed._

Sasuke looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. "Did I seriously just...text someone? How uncool."

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>notes. <strong>Aw. Poor Sasuke. He's losing his style.

Oh, so I've finally got the plot for the next few chapters up, but once more - if you have any ideas for the next few chapters, _leave them in the reviews. _

MikaUchiha, I read your review and loved the ideas, they have inspired me for the next chapters. Once I get to the talent show, it'll be a little twisted, but...well, you'll see. :)

Thanks for reading!


	8. A Save A Life Speech!

**An. **Ah, yeah, I changed it up. I was tired of using the typical two-dot phasing from each part of the day, so I decided just to use linebreaks. Hope it isn't too difficult to read!

Reviews are appreciated on a deeply disturbing level.

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"Friday."

Sasuke sat up, tired as usual. He rubbed his eyes, and stretched out his back.

"Something...something happens today..."

He reached for his glasses, which were not on their regular spot on his side table.

"What the hell?"

He got out of bed and looked around for them - under his bedframe, under the table, the computer desk - nothing.

And that's when the doorbell rang.

Forgetting he was only wearing sweatpants, Sasuke ran downstairs and opened the door.

Suigetsu.

"Dude, what the hell? It's eight."

"Seriously?"

Sasuke freaked out a little bit, but didn't show it.

"Um, come in real quick. I'll get ready."

Sasuke ran upstairs to fix his morning hair and throw on some clothes.

Itachi picked this lovely morning to be up early.

"Good morning," he mumbled to Sasuke as he made his way downstairs. Upon seeing Suigetsu, he froze. They immediately began a staring contest.

Sasuke finally came downstairs at eight ten.

"Dude. Come on," Suigetsu barked, finally breaking the stare. "We only have twenty minutes."

"Alright, I'm ready. Let's go."

And with that, began the worst day ever.

Especially since it was raining, so the ten minutes Sasuke spent brushing his hair went to waste as it slowly frizzed up...

* * *

><p>"Ladies and gentlemen, these are your morning announcements," spoke the voice of the school's beloved janitor, Kakashi Hatake. "The girls' volleyball team has a final game next Friday, so be sure to go and cheer them on! Also, the Save-A-Life Club has prepared a special speech for the Juniors and Seniors. To...honor...this event, we are shortening the classes for said grades. The speech will take place during the last hour of school."<p>

"Well," Sasuke thought out loud, "I know when _I'm_ leaving today."

A few chuckles from the non-SAL members made their way through the room. Naruto gritted his teeth.

After class is when he finally decided to say something.

"What do you have against the SALs, anyways?" Naruto asked, stupidly. Sasuke shook his head.

"Well, let's see...my first day here, and you all showered me with your loving words, and you're just _so _nice to my friends...gee, Naruto, I have no idea. Perhaps I'm making a mistake. Could you ever forgive me?"

Naruto walked in front of him to block his movement.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" he yelled, drawing absolutely no attention. "No one insulted you, and no one has been mean to you or your friends!"

"Have you met Kiba Inuzuka lately?" Sasuke asked, pushing Naruto aside. "Because I hear he's a real nice guy."

"Kiba? The guy who loves dogs? He couldn't possibly be a jerk!"

"Not to you. But he's kind of the reason Suigetsu's been walking around with a black eye."

"No way! His eye's just like that. It's been dark since the first day I met him, I think!"

"Perhaps he's been bullied since then. Ever think of it like that?"

Sasuke was really trying to get to his second block now, and was somewhat speed-walking through the hallway. Naruto matched his pace.

"Sasuke - please, just give us a chance! I want to be friends with you!"

He slowed down and looked at Naruto.

"Ugh...you're so..."

"Annoying?"

"YES. ANNOYING. That, and...well, Naruto...just listen, okay?"

They went to a side of the hallway where there was no moving traffic.

"I'm okay...with being your friend. Alright?"

Sasuke was looking away from him, poking out his lower lip in a sort of pout.

"Then why not the rest of my group?"

"Just...give me time."

Sasuke was, more or less, just saying this to shut the boy up. There was no way in hell he'd ever be friends with the motherfuckin' SALs.

Naruto walked with him to class, all the while humming a Journey song. That's when Sai stepped out of the classroom, allowing Naruto to stupidly walk into him.

"Oh! S-Sai! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there!"

"Hello, Naruto," Sai responded. He then looked at Sasuke. "So, did you finish the project?"

"Got it right here," Sasuke said, handing him a booklet. "I hope it's okay for an essay..."

Sai looked somewhat surprised. Somewhat. "Sasuke, this is...this is a whole book..."

"Well, I wanted to overachieve. You can't have amazing artwork with a half-ass story."

The two entered second block.

"I don't get it," Naruto said to himself, pouting. "How come he's such an ass to me, and so nice to him?"

It then hit him: Sasuke was totally in love with Sai.

Totally.

* * *

><p>"You want him to leave you alone?" Suigetsu asked him. Sasuke pulled out his lunch (sandwich, Snack Pack, and diet coke) and nodded. Suigetsu reached for his Snack Pack. Sasuke slapped his hand.<p>

"Today, I'm actually going to eat this thing," Sasuke responded. "Now then - continue."

"Oh, alright. So, you want blondie to leave you alone. Key thing is - stop being nice to him."

"Nice? I'm not nice to him!"

"That explains why his number is registered on your phone."

"What the hell? How did you even-nevermind. Look, I'm just tired of him preaching to me."

"Then, like I said - stop being nice."

Suigetsu began devouring his chicken. Jugo handed him a napkin.

"You should probably learn table manners if you ever want to take a lady on a date," Jugo said.

"Pssh, yeah right. Like a lady would want to date this. All I need is Sasuke."

"No."

"Aww, but Sasuke - I thought we had something special?"

Sasuke glared at him, sending shivers down his spine. He gave up on the joke.

"You don't think a woman would date you?" Jugo asked.

"No way, man. I'm short-let it be mentioned that I grew three inches this week-I have horribly jacked up teeth, and I'm...well, according to our old bitch, I'm a jerk."

"Well, that's just Karin. Suigetsu, I'm sure there are admirable traits about you."

"Like what? Name one good thing about me. I dare you."

Jugo looked at him, puzzled that Suigetsu would ask him to do something that, usually, only women did. "Um...well, your hair is white like...snow? It's soft looking?"

"See."

"Suigetsu, I hate to interrupt your pity party, but Jugo is a man. He doesn't have to compliment you."

Suigetsu sighed. Jugo patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Sui. I'm sure there's a woman out there who would totally go for you. Just...learn to use table manners."

"Whatever."

"Suigetsu, if it makes it any better - I think you have stunning eyes," Sasuke said.

Actually, he didn't say that. But he thought it, and it did induce some chuckling. To cover up the fact that he was laughing at something, he quickly pretended that he was instead choking on diet coke.

* * *

><p>"Hello, Juniors and Seniors!"<p>

Confetti flew down from the ceiling onto the heads of the somehow happy students.

"My name, in case you don't know, is Sakura! And I'm here with a few friends to give you a speech about prom!"

Sasuke was sitting between Suigetsu and Jugo. He rolled his eyes.

"But before we begin, I'd like to introduce them!" she cheered. "Come on out, guys!"

On cue, three members of the SALs came out to give a bow.

"Hello, my name is Naruto Uzumaki! I will be playing Sakura's boyfriend, Sam!" Naruto yelled, following it up with a bow and going back off stage.

"Hello. My name is Sai, and I will be playing Brandon," Sai spoke monotonously, then followed Naruto's example.

Then, no one came up.

Sakura stood still for a while, then went off stage.

"Can you believe this shit?" Suigetsu asked the girl next to him. She looked at him, confused.

"What are you talking about? I love the Save-A-Life Club. They're hilarious."

Sakura went back on stage.

"Sorry about that, folks. We're experiencing a minor wardrobe issue. Oh look, here comes my third friend!"

Karin made her way up, miserably. She was stuffed in some type of whorish prom dress.

"Hello...my name is Karin. And I will be playing Penny..."

She curtsied, then walked off the stage.

"Holy shit," Suigetsu remarked, holding back laughter. "So she really did join the SALs. Looks like she's certainly enjoying herself, dontcha think, Sasuke?"

Sasuke just watched. In a way, he felt bad for her.

"And I," Sakura said. "Will be playing Jill."

She smiled, and everyone clapped.

"Are you guys ready for a show?"

"YEAH!" the whole audience (with the exception of Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Jugo) cheered. Suigetsu gave Sasuke the "What the fuck?" look.

"Then without further ado - our play begins!"

Sakura left the stage, and Naruto and Sai re-entered.

"Gee, Brandon, I sure can't want to go to prom with Jill!" Naruto said in a _Blue's Clues_ sort of way.

"You sure do care about Jill," Sai said in an overly-rehearsed tone. "I wonder...do you love her?"

"With every ounce of my being!" Naruto replied, then winked at the audience, bringing in a wave of "awwwwe"s. "Why, don't you live your girl?"

"Who, Penny? No way, man. I'm only dating her so that we can have 'Sex'."

"Sex? Before marriage? Isn't that illegal?"

This brought on laughter from the audience.

"Of course it isn't, Sam. In fact, every year, teen pregnancy rates rise. Ohio's teen pregnancy rate is, as of 2010, ages ten through nineteen, at a horrifying 55.3 percent."

Insert gasps.

"Wow. And you _want _to have sex?"

"Of course. But don't worry, because I'll pull out."

"Okay, man. Whatever you say. Oh look, here come Jill and Penny."

Sakura and Karin walked on the stage in prom dresses. People either clapped or whistled.

"Are you guys ready?" Sakura asked the boys.

"Oh, I'm ready - Freddy," Naruto replied. People laughed.

"Who's Freddy?" Karin asked, after a long awkward pause.

"It's a joke, Penny!" Sakura replied, shaking her head. Laughter.

The scene switched over to everyone at prom.

"Well, Brandon," Naruto said to Sai. "Jill and I are going to go dance."

"Have fun, Sam!" Sai replied. Naruto and Sakura went off to go dance. Sai looked at Karin, who put her hand over her heart.

"Oh, Brandon - you know I love you. I just can't think of a way to repay you~"

"I can think of a way," Sai replied. "Come, Penny. We're going to go have sex."

"Sex? Isn't that dangerous? Can I get an STD?"

"It's okay, I'll pull out."

More laughter.

"Alright, if you say so."

Sai and Karin left the stage. Sakura faced the audience.

"So, Brandon and Penny went off to go have sex that night. A week later, they all met up again at Jill's house."

Everyone left the stage, and then re-entered. Karin was using crutches.

"Oh my, Penny!" Sakura exclaimed. "What happened? Did you hurt your leg?"

"It wasn't that," Karin whimpered. "It was the sex. It hurt me really bad, I haven't been able to walk all week."

"Penny, I don't mean to be a jerk," Naruto butted in. "But...have you taken a pregnancy test?"

"No," she replied. "I don't think I know how."

Sakura stepped in. "Here - I'll show you. I bought one for you the other day."

Sakura and Karin leave, then re-enter. Karin is sobbing.

"Oh, no!" she cried.

"What is it?" Sai asked her.

"I'm pregnant, Sam!"

"But that's impossible! I pulled out!"

More laughter.

"I'm sorry, Penny, but...I just don't think I want to be with you anymore. Not like this."

"B-but Sam...you said you loved me!" Karin cried.

"Goodbye, Penny."

Sai left.

Karin fell to her knees.

"Are you...going to have the baby?" Naruto asked her. She shook her head.

"No, I'm...I'm going to get an abortion."

Sakura jumped in horror.

"An ABORTION? But that's murder!"

"I can't be a single mom, Jill. I'm sorry...good bye."

Karin and Naruto left the stage, leaving only Sakura.

"So you see, guys...Penny was miserable after sex. And after the abortion, things only got worse. No jobs would hire her, so she had to live with her parents until she eventually died of an STD she contracted on prom night."

She sat down on a chair that had been placed on the stage.

"Always remember - prom can be fun, but it can be dangerous, too. Don't have sex, guys. Or you'll be a murderer, like Penny."

The lights on the stage went off. They eventually came back on so that the actors could all bow. Then everyone stood up to leave, because it was already three-thirty.

And all Suigetsu could say for the whole ride home was, "Oh my God."

* * *

><p>"Itachi, I'm home."<p>

Sasuke walked around. Itachi and Kisame were on the couch, watching Alien Vs. Predator.

"Oh, hey there," Kisame responded. Then, Itachi turned around.

"Hey, Sasuke. Want to watch this with us?"

Sasuke tilted his head, sure that he had not been asked that for some time. He figured, it _was _a Friday, and he didn't exactly have anything better to do.

So he watched Alien Vs. Predator.

* * *

><p><strong>To: Suigetsu<br>From: Sasuke**

_Just watched Alien Vs. Predator, have nothing else to do. Want to hang?_

**To: Sasuke  
>From: Suigetsu<strong>

_Are you for real? Sure. I was just about to have Jugo over - we're all going to go buy suits."_

**To: Suigetsu  
>From: Sasuke<strong>

_Wait, so now Jugo's crashing prom too?_

**To: Sasuke  
>From: Suigetsu<strong>

_He thought it was stupid at first, but after THAT skit, how could he refuse crashing prom?_

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>notes. <strong>Dude. That was a long chapter. But it was SO MUCH FUN to write. OH MY GOSH.  
>Tune in next time~<p> 


	9. Author's Note

**An.**

I've been on a little hiatus over the summer. Don't worry, I haven't stopped writing this, and I am currently working on the next chapter.

A lot has been going on. Nothing bad, I'm just busy.

I love you guys!

See you next chapter.


	10. But I Thought Emos Hated Pop!

**An. **I decided to skip a few days and/or weeks, because I haven't written on this story in so long, I can no longer write it in a daily order. Not until I've continued writing for a while. Sorry for the hiatus!

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

'_Twas the month before prom-mas, and all through the school,_

_Not a creature wasn't stirring, not even the un-cool._

_And yet, in the corner, in a mere group of three,_

_Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Jugo, planned to fill the night with misery._

"Dude, Sasuke. So, I was thinking about this whole prom thing, and…well, I don't think we should go."

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke responded, more because he was simply not paying attention than that he was taken aback.

"Well, if the three of us show up, it's gay. We need cover girls. Girls who also hate prom. So, I have taken it upon myself to find three females that will join us in our sabotage of the sexual escapade of high school."

He shook his head. "Okay, Suigetsu. Or, we could just find three normal girls, who love prom, and take them."

Suigetsu thought on this, and a grin slithered across his face. "Mm, Sauce, you're twisted. I think I'm in love with you."

Jugo was sitting beside the two of them, reading the school newspaper. (In a normal high school, this would be strange behavior. But here, reading the school newspaper was rather normal and almost praiseworthy.)

"Hey, guys, I was thinking…"

"Yeah?"

"What if we actually did this whole talent show thing?"

Sasuke looked up at him, with a look that would have been surprised, if his face weren't permanently in a state of reverse Botox. Jugo noticed the glance, and responded.

"Like, there's a cash prize. I don't know how much, but if the three of us did something awesome in it, and we won, then, we could buy something awesome. Like, donate money to charity, or get some new instruments, or buy Skyrim…"

"Skyrim?" Suigetsu questioned. Jugo nodded.

"Yeah, that new video gam-"

"It isn't that new, Jugaboo."

"Oh."

"What about Halo?"

The two turned and looked at Sasuke, who nonchalantly took another sip of his diet soda. Then, they began to whisper.

"Dude…Halo 4 comes out in a month. We could totally get it," Suigetsu murmured.

"I think that sounds fanatical," Jugo agreed.

In unison, the two turned towards Sasuke.

"Okay, Saucery, what are we going to do for said talent show?"

Sasuke thought, without passing a glance to the others, and slowly sat down his diet coke. "Well, we could do a three man band. Play something awesome. Or we could-"

"No, let's not be original, Sasuke. A band sounds great."

Sasuke was going to say that the three of them could do an onstage reenactment of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, because who doesn't love dwarves, but he supposed that being in a band would be the more mainstream way to go, and kids like the mainstream.

"So, what do you two play again?" he asked.

"Well," Suigetsu began. "I play the drums…but…I don't think Jugo-"

"I play both the bass, and guitar," Jugo said. "I also used to be a percussionist, but my doctor told me not to anymore, because it makes me go Hulk."

"Karin said you couldn't play any instruments, Jugo," Sasuke remarked. Jugo nodded.

"She didn't know, because if she did, I'd have to play all the time. When she found out Suigetsu played the drums, back when they first met, he always had to go over to her house and-"

"That's enough, Jew Gold. We don't need to go back to the medieval era."

Suigetsu seemed troubled.

But Sasuke was so focused on how good his sandwich was that he failed to notice and/or give a damn and a half.

.

.

"Yo, Kare-bear, you up to practice for the talent show today?"

Karin turned to Naruto, a little upset with the nickname but okay with the practicing part. She had always wanted to sing on stage, even if it _was _a school stage.

"I would love to, Naruto. Is Ino going to join us?"

"Nah, she said she couldn't do the talent show because she'll be too busy with charity work to practice. Happens all the time. I had to miss it because of church last year."

"You don't say?" She asked, looking around. "Well, where would we practice? Your house?"

"Oh, heavens no. I couldn't do that to you. We've only just met."

"Then where are we going?"

Naruto grinned. "There's this park I like to go to, there's this fountain, and it's remote. No huge crowd, but it's nice."

"Alright then…Oh, and I picked a new song."

"If I know it, I can play it. I don't mean to brag, but I'm a ukulele prodigy." He winked. Karin gave him a smile, but nothing else.

So, the two left school that day and headed for a park, which was everything Naruto had said it was. There were a few people, mostly parents with their children, but no crowds, and no noise. Karin looked at him, and smiled.

"Ever heard the song _I Will Follow You Into The Dark_, by Death Cab for Cutie?"

Naruto stared at her. For a moment, her heart dropped. He had probably never heard of it. This was a bad idea all along.

"Yeah, I've heard it. It's good. Kind of slow, but good."

"Well, do you think we should sing that?"

"How about something happy and fun to play? Like, _Happy,_ by NeverShoutNever?"

"How about no? Ingle is a poser at it's finest."

Naruto looked like his childhood had just been shot in the testicles. He regained his posture, and thought a little longer. "How about _We Could Happen,_ by AJ Rafael?"

Karin thought about it for a little bit, then realized that that song actually didn't suck.

"Huh…not bad, kid. Let's try this."

She stood up on the fountain as he pulled the ukulele out of its case.

.

.

"So, after hours and hours of searching through music on Youtube, I finally found a freaking song, Sasuke. I hope you're happy."

The three sat in Suigetsu's garage, eating fruit pops because fruit pops are fucking delicious sometimes.

"And what song would that be?"

"Well, since I mainly listen to screamo and instrumental rap, it took me forever to find a song. I don't really like the peaceful shit. But, I came across one song I haven't listened to in a while, _Hold On Till May,_ by Pierce the Veil. And it's pretty nice, and people won't think we're suicidal because I'm pretty sure it's about hope and shit."

Sasuke had no idea what he was talking about, so he had to spend around an hour listening to it on the MP3 device. Then, he nodded. Slowly, at first, but faster as he learned it.

"It will do, I suppose. But there's no piano…"

"That's where we put a twist on it, and turn you into a sax."

He decided that was better because he really didn't want people learning about him on the piano and it was weird enough that his two hangout buddies and Karin knew.

"So, I have to write my own part?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Neat…so…who will sing?"

"Do we really need a singer?"

"Yes…"

The two looked at Jugo, who shook his head. "I sing like Bill Kenny."

Since neither of them knew who that was, they decided to not let him sing. Sasuke looked at Suigetsu. "How about you, Suigetsu?"

"Wh-me? What?"

"Yeah. Can you sing and play drums?"

"Well, sort of, but not very good in the slightest."

"That doesn't make any sense. Go try it."

"Dude, no."

"Dude, yes. Halo 4, Suigetsu. Master Chief is waiting."

Suigetsu stared at him, then sighed, and made his way to the drums. He began to play a beat. It was not the drum part of their planned song, but instead, a steady bass rhythm. He began to sing the lyrics, but continued in his bass rhythm, creating an intriguing new sound.

"Suigetsu…" Sasuke whispered, looking at him as he carried on. Jugo nodded, then found his place, picking up with bass. It was quickly changing genre from heavy rock to hip-hop. Sasuke analyzed it for a moment, then picked up his sax, playing notes by ear, unrehearsed, yet beautiful.

Suigetsu hit the drums, nodding his head and singing.

"I put your body to the test with mine, this love was out of control…tell me where did it go?"

The song dragged to an end, and the three looked at each other, feeling proud.

"I think we've got this," Jugo stated. Sasuke nodded, a slight smirk coming to his face.

The Covenant would soon be his bitches.

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter Notes. <strong>So, when you think about the song at the end, listen to the PTV song first, then listen to the instrumental track of "Keep It Thoro". That's how I'd imagine it.  
>Sasuke's so hipster, he creates his own genre.<p> 


	11. Cuts

**An. WARNING: **Sad chapter ahead..  
>For some reason, I'm really, really gloomy today.<br>Oh well. Had to fit some of this stuff in here at some point.  
>By the way, here's a random statement about me: I don't hate Kiba.<br>I actually adore Kiba. He's fucking adorable. But, unfortunately, he'd also be the best character for a bully. So, sorry Kiba - one day, you can be the protagonist.  
>Reviews are very appreciated.<p>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"Good morning."

The group had gathered together in a small, dark room, lit by lamps placed sporadically throughout it. Their normal gathering area was being repainted for the first time this year. Everyone was quiet. It was a cold day, and everyone was bundled up.

Hinata, however, was not. She shivered, although she honestly wasn't _that_ cold, in an attempt to wear Naruto's jacket.

"Hinata? You okay? You look cold."

She turned her head to see that Kiba had been next to her. He offered his coat. To her chagrin, she had to accept it.

At the front of the room, Sakura rubbed her hands together.

"So, prom is now less than a month away, and everything appears to be smooth sailing. I never did get to ask if anyone had any comments or questions though, so if you have any, now is the time to speak up.

Karin, in the back, slowly raised her hand. She had recently begun to speak up in the group, although she still was not a fan. She faked a smile. "Sakura, what is the theme, anyways?"

Sakura grinned, and seemed very happy to respond. "The theme is 'Happily Ever After'!"

.

.

"Yo, Sauce."

Sasuke got into the car and looked at his friend, who appeared to be more emo looking today than he had ever looked before.

"Uh…" Sasuke remarked, which meant: "Oh, Suigetsu, what's up with the hair?"

He got the hint.

"That eye was gross to look at," he said, sheepishly turning away. "I can't find an eye patch…so…this is me for a while. I hope you don't mind."

Suigetsu's hair was covering his eye, which had been previously coated in bruises. The black eye was rather disturbing to view, but he never seemed to mind it before. It was sad to think about, so rather than ponder on it, Sasuke simply shook his head. "Eh, you'd look like shit with an eye patch, anyways."

"Yeah…on the other hand, you'd look fucking terrifying. Especially with like, a goatee."

"Luckily, I will never have nor need either."

The white-haired boy drove beyond the school. It was clear that he had no intention of going today. Sasuke, on the other hand, had fully intended on attending.

"Hey, Sasuke, would you like to skip class? _No thank you,_ Suigetsu. I rather like having an A average," Sasuke remarked.

"We'll be back by second block," he replied, nonchalantly. "I've got to show you something."

The two of them drove on for around ten minutes. Then, Suigetsu stopped in the middle of nowhere, in front of a large, green gate with electric wire running over the top. The sign at the bottom read "Danger: High Voltage". He exited. After lazily remaining in the car for as long as possible, Sasuke reluctantly followed.

"You're not taking me out into the woods so that you can have your way with me, are you?"

"Of course not – and now, we're going to climb the fence."

Sasuke looked up at the electric wiring.

"No."

"It isn't on, Sauce-y. I'll go first.

The violet-eyed boy climbed up, casually making his way to the top. He reached for the wire-

"AHHHHH!" Suigetsu screamed, violently rocking his body back and forth. Sasuke widened his eyes.

"OH MY GOD, SUIGETSU! LET GO! JUMP! I'LL CATCH YOU!"

Suddenly, his body stopped moving altogether. He lay against the fence…

Silence floated through the air like a thick smoke.

"Oh my God…Sui…Suigetsu—!"

His body began to move again, heaving in the chest. Sasuke's face went pale, hoping that the boy was still alive because he seriously had enough shit to deal with and didn't even have a diet coke to help calm him down. Suigetsu leaned his head back and – he was…laughing?

_Laughing?_

"Waaaaaahahahaha! My God, Sauce, that was hilarious! You're all, 'Oh my geeesh, Suigetsu died, oh noes!' Hahaha! Oh, that's perfect! That's gold!"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "You're a fucking idiot, Suigetsu."

"I know, I know," he said, wiping a tear from his eye. "Now, hurry up and climb."

.

.

"Hello there, this is Principal Might Guy! HUAH! I'm calling to inform you that your son, Sasuke…Hoochihaw…was not at school today. Please have him send in an excuse as soon as possible."

Itachi snickered at the message, deleting it.

"My son…ha."

.

.

"Welcome, Sasuke, to the junkyard!"

He looked around. Old, busted up cars were strewn about. Some were in piles, while others were out in the open. A mountain of unwanted automobiles lay in the center of it all. Suigetsu climbed it, as if it were nothing, to the middle, and entered a red truck. He waved for Sasuke to follow.

"Oh. He's not going to rape me in the woods. He's going to rape me on a mountain of cars…well, at least it's more creative."

When Suigetsu climbed, it certainly looked easier. The cars moved underneath him as he made his way to the middle. In the car, Suigetsu dug through the glove box, pulling out shades – which he immediately wore – and papers.

"Sasuke, you consider us friends, right?

Sasuke tilted his head. _Friends?_

"I've only been here with one person before – she-who-shall-not-be-named. We used to be super close, until a few months ago. Honestly…Sasuke, you're my best friend now. So, I brought you here…for two reasons."

"Mm?"

"Sasuke…this area was abandoned in 2001. I come here to be alone…sometimes, I run away…and I always end up here…so…if you're ever worried about me, for whatever reason, or there's some crazy shit going down in the hood…this is where I will be."

He wondered what would cause Suigetsu to run away. Perhaps Kiba's antics would make him miserable enough to flee. Or, maybe he had a terrible home life…regardless, the entire situation felt surreal.

"Also…"

"Mm?"

"This was where Karin would go to…when her parents got crazy."

Sasuke looked at him, slightly interested, though he wouldn't admit it. Crazy? What did he mean?

"Crazy?"

Suigetsu looked out the window at the sun as it made its way up. He seemed to be in thought, though his eyes were covered up, so it really could have been any emotion – sadness, maybe.

"She…um… she has a rather abusive lifestyle. Her dad beats her, her mom beats her, and everyone just kind of treats her like a slave. As soon as she's out of school, she isn't 'allowed' to go anywhere. So, she's going to run away. When she first came here, she told a friend of hers, who was in the Save A Life Club – Sakura Haruno. Well, she told a friend, while asking for advice to give, and that friend told the whole club, and eventually, the whole school knew. Doucheface, Kiba, he found out about it, too, and harassed her. I uh…"

"You…?"

"I stood up for her…so he turned his attention to me."

Sasuke stared at him for a long time, then sighed. He figured they weren't going to school today.

"Suigetsu?"

"Mm?"

"Can I ask you something…about your life?"

Suigetsu was almost pleased that Sasuke took a slight interest, even though he knew what question was coming. "Yeah."

"Your brother died a while back, right? Is that why you run away?"

Although he had seen it coming, it still sent chills down his spine. "Yeah…he…"

There was more silence, and Suigetsu coughed, then cleared his throat, then sniffled, and made just about every noise possible. "He showed me this place. Said it was where he went to collect his thoughts…since he died…my parents kind of look down on me. He was going somewhere with his life, Sasuke. He had it all – he was an excellent athlete – won fencing championships annually, first place, and everything – a girlfriend, and love. He trained me a little, but I was never, you know, like him. My parents always liked him more, but he had more respect for me than anyone else. So, when he disappeared, it was like…it was like a part of me disappeared, too."

Sasuke watched him look down at his lap, as if he were focusing all of his energy on not crying. He cautiously and awkwardly put an arm on his shoulder. "Hey, you know what?"

"What?"

"We – you, me, and she-who-shall-not-be-named – are all pretty screwed up in the field of family…but, you've got me, and Jugo, and we're here to support each other. Karin made a mistake by leaving."

"Yeah, she did, didn't she?"

"Now she doesn't have anyone she can talk to about the family, if she doesn't want the whole school to know…"

"True that…"

The two sat in the car for a while, before deciding to just take the day off from school and screw around at Wal-Mart.

.

.

"Sasuke!"

He turned around, setting down the twelve pack of diet coke to look at the speaker. "Oh. Hey, Sakura."

She approached him.

"It's nice to see you here. You by yourself?"

"Mm? No. I'm not. My friend's using the bathroom."

"Oh."

She deduced that it was Suigetsu and decided to change topics. But he didn't let her.

"Sakura?"

"Yeah?"

"Why…um…I heard about the Karin situation. From when she was-"

"Look, Sasuke, I get it."

"…what?"

"I'm not stupid. Suigetsu probably told you. I regret what I did. I didn't mean for everyone to find out, really…I put her in a worse place than she was already in…she could have killed herself and it would have been my fault…"

"Hey, don't jump to conclusions like that. Just because someone's upset doesn't mean they're suicidal. Some people just need to be-"

"She was in the hospital for a week from the overdose."

"...what?"

"And trust me, I wouldn't just be telling you this if you asked. Only reason I am is because Suigetsu was probably already going to tell you."

Sasuke looked at her, with nothing more to say. Everything seemed dark today.

"Damn…"

She rubbed the back of her neck, uncomfortably. "Yeah, well, that's all done and over…so…I gotta run."

"Oh…well, okay…I'll see you around sometime."

She made her way to the end of the aisle, and then turned around.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"You're really nice…"

He stood, dumbfounded. Nice?

Since when?

.

.

Karin locked herself in her room for the night, though it didn't offer much protection on nights like these.

She couldn't tell anyone but herself, she swore.

But here she was.

* * *

><p><strong>From: Karin<br>To: Suigetsu  
><strong>"Suigetsu, I need help. My…"

* * *

><p>"What am I doing?" she whispered to herself, then cancelled the text. What would Suigetsu do? Cuss her out? It'd be the same damn thing as just talking to her parents.<p>

She pulled out an old, spiral notebook, which was falling apart at the hinges, and began to write…

* * *

><p><em><strong>Dear Diary,<strong>_

_There's a girl in my room._

_She's covered in the dirt of both the world and the lies. Her words come out like vomit, but there's no stopping it. Not today._

_For this world, there are only two options – live or die. And for her, she only has one: to live. Because if she dies, where will the world go? Where will she go? The light and the dark, is there anything out there?_

_Hello? Where is this man in the sky that helps people, and why doesn't he help me? Have I wronged him? Or is this merely a challenge? Why is it that I have the challenge, and no one else has to deal with this? I've always understood that life wasn't fair, but why does it have to be cruel?_

_What am I here to prove?_

* * *

><p>And the door came down.<p>

.

.

**End-of-chapter notes. **So, in case the question comes up, I should say this (I may have already said it, but I feel the need to re-state.): I am a Christian. That does not mean I will make everyone in the story have my views, though. Karin is (obviously) an agnostic right now. God knows what Suigetsu is.  
>And Sasuke? He's a Westboro Baptist. ;)<br>Again, reviews are very appreciated.


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